Becoming Catholic took about a year and it has been a glorious adventure. I have learned so much about myself and how humble I am not. I have continually cried each time I sit in Mass and only recently after a beautiful orchestration by God have I begun receiving the Eucharist.
I simply can not even begin to explain the journey I have been on this past year.
I remember a moment in the theater, when I cried out to God that I missed the Body of Christ and I had no idea how to be a part of it again. I was broken hearted. That might have been the most beautiful prayer I've prayed in a long time because it simply acknowledged by need and said please to a good God. I think we deeply underestimate the importance of desperation in our prayers. Not the pretend stuff that attracts attention but the real gut wrenching honest stuff that lies face down on the floor and weeps at the feet of God.
But then God moved. I never saw it coming.
Looking back, the curve balls have been flying past me most of my life if I'm honest. This is just the most recent series. So here is what I am conviced of as a result of this leg of the journey.
I have no idea where this train is headed.
Sadly that's been true for a really long time. I'm just coming to terms with it. But He is a good God and I am more sure of that too. So perhaps I can let go and just trust Him?
Now that would truly change everything. A faith that simply leans back into the loving arms of a beautiful Father? I can't really imagine it but that has never stopped God from showing up and being faithful to me.
So now what?
I just turned 54. I've been living the same way for a long time with both hands firmly on the wheel. If I thought moving from Protestant to Catholic was a big deal, this choice should blow my mind (which I thought had already happened.)
Time to let go.
