Waiting Well

"I hate wait." This is one of my favorite lines from the Princess Bride as Miracle Max is trying to revive Wesley who is only mostly dead. Inigo is in a desperate hurry to avenge his father's death at the hands of the 6 fingered man.

I'm with Inigo. I hate wait. "We are men of action. Lies do not become us." This is also a great exchange between Wesley and the 6 fingered man. (His name is Count Rugen. Did you know that?) I am also a woman of action and having to wait is just a killer sometimes.

So why does God ask us to wait? Clearly this is part of His progression when growing up His people. Moses spends 40 years in the desert before he leads the people out of slavery and into the desert for 40 years. Joseph is thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, falsely accused of rape and then forgotten in prison before he becomes 2nd in command and saves the people from famine. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in jail before he led South Africa out of Apartheid. God uses waiting. But how?

If I wanted to compete at the Olympics, I would understand my need for training. Often when I watch the Olympics I try to imagine how many hours a young man or woman has spent training for something like a dive or vault that might last less than a minute in competition. The ratio has to be staggering. So why do we assume anything less when God is training us? The beauty of God's training is He wastes nothing. Joseph blessed Potipher's home and the jail with his gifts. Moses married and had a family in the desert. Nelson befriended his captures and learned their language while in prison. But all these people were changed during the waiting.

Will I let God change me as He desires during the waiting? Will I continue to do the next thing in love until I am called to do the thing I was created to do? What if I am already doing the thing I was created to do? Can I trust God with my life? Today I will say yes. Hopefully I will say yes again tomorrow and the day after that. But perhaps that is part of the lesson of waiting. Learning how to say yes day after day for an extended period of time so it becomes a muscle memory just like an Olympic athlete or concert pianist.

So is it waiting or training? Waiting seems passive and I am a woman of action. So I will see it as training and I will learn to wait well today. (and hopefully tomorrow too)

The Deep Healing

I'm not sure I understood what I was getting into when I decided to follow Jesus. In fact I'm sure I did not understand what it meant to "surrender all to Jesus", but after almost 30 years of following Him, I am starting to.

When Jesus speaks to the rich young ruler in Mark 10 it's clear the young man is devout. He has spent his life in obedience and yet one thing he lacks.

"Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” 22 But at these words he was saddened, and he went away grieving, for he was one who owned much property.

I really appreciate how the passage mentions Jesus' love for the young man. It almost suggests that Jesus knows where this is going and how this will end with sadness. Why do you suppose it was so sad for this young man? He went away grieving because he owned much property. Clearly his hope was not in God. Even though he had lived an obedient life, the true cost of following Jesus was too high.

I'm struck that Jesus let him go. He did not try to talk him into it or dumb it down or lower the bar. He was sad for him. But He also let him sit in it.

So the point? I was not aware of the deep healing I needed in my life. I gave my life to Jesus with an honest faith that said I am scared and lost and I want to come home now. But our God is not content to just welcome us home. He wants to offer us the deep healing that brings the deep freedom. I am starting to feel the deep freedom, but the cost has been so high. My consolation is that Jesus' cost was so high as well. Our freedom cost more than just His life. It cost Him his dignity, his reputation, his glory, his rightful place in heaven, and his unbroken fellowship with the Father. Death was probably a relief considering all he endured on our behalf here.

So what is he asking you for? Where is the door that leads to the deep healing in your soul and are you willing to give Him the key? He will not take it from you. It will always be your choice to take a step of trust and move a little closer. But don't pretend it won't hurt. It will. It will be a pain like nothing else and yet it will be submerged in His kindness. How does He do that? I have no idea, but I speak as one who has felt it and has been changed.

May you allow Him access to your deepest hurts. He is good and He is kind, but we must be brave.