I'm not sure I understood what I was getting into when I decided to follow Jesus. In fact I'm sure I did not understand what it meant to "surrender all to Jesus", but after almost 30 years of following Him, I am starting to.
When Jesus speaks to the rich young ruler in Mark 10 it's clear the young man is devout. He has spent his life in obedience and yet one thing he lacks.
"Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” 22 But at these words he was saddened, and he went away grieving, for he was one who owned much property.
I really appreciate how the passage mentions Jesus' love for the young man. It almost suggests that Jesus knows where this is going and how this will end with sadness. Why do you suppose it was so sad for this young man? He went away grieving because he owned much property. Clearly his hope was not in God. Even though he had lived an obedient life, the true cost of following Jesus was too high.
I'm struck that Jesus let him go. He did not try to talk him into it or dumb it down or lower the bar. He was sad for him. But He also let him sit in it.
So the point? I was not aware of the deep healing I needed in my life. I gave my life to Jesus with an honest faith that said I am scared and lost and I want to come home now. But our God is not content to just welcome us home. He wants to offer us the deep healing that brings the deep freedom. I am starting to feel the deep freedom, but the cost has been so high. My consolation is that Jesus' cost was so high as well. Our freedom cost more than just His life. It cost Him his dignity, his reputation, his glory, his rightful place in heaven, and his unbroken fellowship with the Father. Death was probably a relief considering all he endured on our behalf here.
So what is he asking you for? Where is the door that leads to the deep healing in your soul and are you willing to give Him the key? He will not take it from you. It will always be your choice to take a step of trust and move a little closer. But don't pretend it won't hurt. It will. It will be a pain like nothing else and yet it will be submerged in His kindness. How does He do that? I have no idea, but I speak as one who has felt it and has been changed.
May you allow Him access to your deepest hurts. He is good and He is kind, but we must be brave.
